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The wryly amusing and revealing story of one man’s journey into the swinger lifestyle that pulls back the curtain on one of the most fascinating—and least understood—subcultures in the nation.
A wry and revealing story of one man’s journey into the swinger lifestyle that pulls back the curtain on one of our most fascinating—and private—subcultures
An estimated fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community hiding in plain sight whose erotic pastime remains a complete mystery to the rest of us. In Swingland, Daniel Stern outs himself and the secretive society he loves, recounting his transformation from a bumbling neophyte terrified of all things carnal into a veteran sexual adventurer.
Once confined to suburban key parties and private clubs, “swinging” has transformed, via the Internet, into a free-for-all. Today only a few mouse clicks locates your perfect couple (or couples), far easier and less riskily than ever before (no worrying about running into them at PT A meetings). There are plenty of bumps and bruises along the way for Stern, including countless rejections, missed opportunities, and one particular AARP orgy. But slowly and surely, through an impressive series of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, this “Vanilla” newbie becomes a much sought-after partner for couples looking to spice up their relationships. During his exploits, he learns a whole new lexicon (there aren’t many single women swingers, or “Unicorns,” but plenty of MFMs, FMFs, MFMFs, and GBs), as well as invaluable advice (be honest, open, and know your limits).
But Swingland is much more than a titillating expos�. Stern’s wit and infectious enthusiasm make Swingland as improbably safe as it is fun—and impossible to put down. All are welcome, but bring flip-flops (it can get messy).
- Sales Rank: #514037 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-10-01
- Released on: 2013-10-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Publishers Weekly
Screenwriter Stern initiates readers into the world of swinging, sharing his experiences, often in graphic detail, and instructions—should you decide to enter into The Lifestyle. After a series of poor performances, Stern decided he needed sexual batting practice and joined a Web site for those seeking casual encounters. He recounts his first experience with multiple partners, which began with a chat about countertops and ends with Stern cutting his head open on a ceiling fan. Another encounter finds Stern the youngest by three-plus decades. He participates in a poker game to win sex with a woman and gives hilarious commentary on the competition. Stern provides advice for single men about being respectful to women and impervious to rejection, and about how to create the ideal online profile. He also includes tips for e-mailing potential partners, and outlines scene lingo—including the important distinctions between an MFM and an MMF experience, or hard versus soft swaps. Only an insider could describe proper sex club footwear and detail necessary topics of discussion before an encounter, as well as Lifestyle faux pas. Stern warns that participation in the Lifestyle takes Kevlar skin and a Chicago Cubs fan's constitution, but, if inclined, you will find no greater guide into its inner workings. (Oct. 1)
Review
"Transcends most of the usual boundaries of sexuality. … Leaves the vanilla world behind." (New York Times Book Review)
"Stern hilariously recounts his life in the swingers community. …Equal parts memoir and guide book." (New York Post)
"Los Angeles screenwriter Stern penetrates the unconventional world of swinging… A unique, voyeuristic expose of a taboo bedroom counterculture." (Kirkus Reviews)
"Brave, funny, eye-opening, entertaining, and well-written . . . everything one could ask, really, of a book about sex. But for all its titillations, Swingland is also something more rare: it is humane, and vulnerable. The book is a genuine delight.” (Matthew Specktor, author of American Dream Machine )
“If you want to know your MFM from your MMF, your NSA from your GB and so much more, here's a man who's been there and done everything! Swingland is the erotic equivalent of a travelogue. Stern is an excellent X-rated tour guide through the often misunderstood world of swinging.” (Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor, The Big Book of Orgasms )
"Swingland is everything you need to know about swinging, whether it's your thing or it isn't. Stern isn't trying to pull punches here. He's the real deal, and it shows. Especially in chapters like Synthesis, bedded down in a lovely little section called Intercourse. This book is a must-read. I also thought it was really funny that he says 'DON'T be creepy' in a guidebook to swingers. Brilliant." (Oriana Small, a.k.a. Ashley Blue, author of Girlver: A Porno Memoir )
"Delightfully self-deprecating, and unrelentingly honest. Swingland offers an insightful glimpse into a strange sexual world." (Sam Benjamin, author of American Gangbang
"Daniel Stern navigates the naked frontier of consensual, casual group sex with a firm, polite grip. Never pedantic, Swingland shimmies like the mingling souls of James Brown (The Los Angeles Diaries) and Augusten Burroughs to the Boogie Nights soundtrack." (Antonia Crane, author of Spent )
"SWINGLAND is a seductive story about a mysterious subculture, but ultimately, it's about transformation and one man's search for his own naked truth." (Associated Press)
About the Author
Daniel Stern is director of operations at an entrepreneurial company, a screenwriter who placed in the top four in Project Greenlight, and was a Sundance Lab screenwriting finalist. He lives in Los Angeles.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
So much fun!
By jb28806
Very funny and very informative! I would have never known to bring a fruit tray along if not for Mr. Stern.
Plus, best reference to "Hungry Eyes" ever. Impossible to read the rest of that chapter without that as the soundtrack, which made it even more entertaining than it already was.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Very entertaining and informative
By ehoward29
The cover with provocatively placed gummi bears immediately dispeled any negative taboo feelings I might have had about reading a book about life as a swinger.
The book balances being a manual for new swingers and a memoir of the writer's life as a swinger.
I enjoyed it immensely. Daniel presents the Lifestyle is such a straight forward, honest way that even my vanilla life was quite engrossed in how the Lifestyle works. Daniel presents himself as an everyman that most men can relate to and women are endeared to. So when we hear of some of the crazier exploits that he has experienced; we go with him on the ride (often many rides at a time) and laugh along with him.
I suggest this book to anyone who obviously is curious about the Lifestyle but also to anyone who wants to be entertained with wild stories. Just note, perhaps reading this on your Kindle at breakfast with your 7 year old son who is watching Magic School Bus can be a little uncomfortable. Take my word for it.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Swinging for the Fences
By Weber
"SWINGLAND" by Daniel Stern is a must read might, however might not be for everyone in the "Vanilla" world, but I highly recommend it. This self deprecating autobiographical/how to book into this world known as "The Lifestyle" is like binge watching your favorite show on Netflix like "Breaking Bad". You go from one chapter to the next as the story develops and you can't believe what is unfolding. It's a page turner and when one chapter ends you don't want to wait to see to see where Dan Stern takes us next. The writing, amazing references, and the glossary of terms transform the reader into this Lifestyle that by the end you feel like you have just been on one incredible "RIDE-ALONG"...
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